Why do I have negative thoughts about my weight? Particularly, when doggone it, people like me!

The unsung hero of modern American thought, Stuart Smalley *

Well, I definitely seemed to land on a rich topic with the guilt post.  You all gave me a lot to think about, and as always it's helpful to hear how everyone else is experiencing and managing the same terrain.

First, I'd like to make a PSA/reminder:  when I blog about my own weight loss experiences, I am not doing it as a way of giving instruction or expressing any official Weight Watchers position.  We have people much more qualified to do that:  our meeting leaders.  Rather, as noted in my intro copy on top, I use my blog to share how I personally deal with my own weight-related challenges.  It should go without saying, that my head is not always on straight, and I've got a lot of the same crummy hang-ups shared by so many others.  It's probably a judgement call for me to share my own warts given my role, but it also seems that being honest is a good way to engage in important discussions.  That approach is VERY Weight Watchers.  So for the benefit of full clarity, I have no intention of launching the sale of the Guilt-o-lator on late night TV infomercials.  To be clear, the Guilt-o-lator is a million miles away from ever being a sanctioned Weight Watchers device.

While I'm at it, how about a second PSA.  Please don't ever put your head in the oven because you had a bad week.  It's just not safe.

PSA's aside, all of your comments on dealing with negative emotions made me think more about negative emotions.  Thanks for that (irony intended here).

I spent some more time thinking of how dark thoughts impact me and my efforts to maintain my weight and healthy(er) lifestyle.  They don't happen all the time or even that often.  Most times, I feel good and proud about what I have been able to do in steering my life in a much healthier direction.  Yet, like most of us (I think), I have my own inventory of evil spirits that periodically come to torment my otherwise happy mind:

The freak-out:  This usually starts with the following sequence of events:

1. I spend a week (or two) where I am slacking off on sticking to my food plan, maybe instigated by too much socializing and eating out.  During this time, I am absolutely avoiding the scale.  
2. Typically on a Saturday or Sunday, I will weigh myself thinking/hoping that maybe I really haven't gained any weight even though I logically know that I probably have.  
3. That hideous troll, known as the scale, punches my solar plexus and knocks the wind out of me when it delivers the dreaded digital readout evidencing my massive personal failure.  
4. I completely lose my mind and start pacing and storming thinking the worst possible thoughts about myself.  "I am such an idiot!"  "How did I let this happen?"  "What the h*ll is wrong with me?"  
5. I then quickly move to a series of dramatic resolutions such as "I am so getting my rear on plan this week!"  "Enough is enough!" "I will never let this happen again!" etc.  

What's good about this?  I definitely course correct and regain my focus.  

What's bad about this?  Lots of things.  Why can't I course correct without the step of chewing myself up and out?  It's not like this has never happened before, and it's not as though I wasn't able to dust myself off and get back on track.  Why all the drama? Why all the stress?   

Malaise.  This is usually the feeling prior to the Freakout above.  

1. This usually starts with the non-specific feeling that I am slipping.  Not like a massive swan dive into a swimming pool of Cheetos.  More like little, pernicious choices creeping up on otherwise healthy days.  Maybe a bit of after dinner grazing.  Maybe cutting the workout a little short.  Maybe cleaning my plate to an unnatural level of spotlessness.  
2. I start to get the nagging feeling like my regimen is slipping away.  It's more of a feeling of uneasiness than rampant stress.  Yet it quietly weighs on me.  
3. I might have fleeting thoughts about letting myself slip into even worse habits.  I really would like to start a new diet of gigantic breakfast burritos.  A pint of Ben & Jerry's might be nice.  Maybe I don't have to wake up every morning so early to workout.  It might be nice to sleep in more. 

What's good about this?  When I get this feeling, at least I know something isn't quite right.  I've experienced it enough times to know that I am heading toward something not good.  It's kind of like getting used to know what the river patterns look like right before the water fall.  And I know that I definitely don't want to pack myself into a barrel and take a leap down the Niagara falls of gluttony.  

What's bad about this?  Feeling malaise is a really crummy way to spend quality time in my life.  Why not get better at identifying those nasty little habits before they start accumulating.  More mindfulness in the moment would be much more constructive than relying on the dull and non-specific feeling that I am somehow screwing up.  

Hating the old body.  

OK, this is a tough topic that probably deserves it's own post(s).  Maybe by way of preview, this is the well worn practice of staring in the mirror and looking for imperfections, lumps and other physical examples that I am not a completely perfect profile of healthy life. Yes, men do this too (at least this one does).  I think I do this because I know that I'm indulging some bad habits, and so I look for evidence to confirm the fact that I am screwing up.  When I can get the mirror to confirm my own worst fears (never mind how massively I might be distorting such imperfections in mind), I let myself jump into a little whirlpool of yet more self-abuse.

What's good about this?  Nothing really.  

What's bad about this?  Everything.  I don't think I need to go into the myriad of reasons why negative body image is a really crummy phenomena.  At it's worst, it leads to eating disorders, depression, and a million other bad things.  In a sad example of increasing gender neutrality, negative body image is no longer the exclusive domain of women, but men as well (to be discussed in a future post).  

So what to do with all of these negative emotions?  

First, recognize that they happen.  Negative emotions are a fact of life.  They happen, and I cannot ignore them or pretend they aren't there by saying I'm somehow above them.  If anything, I need to get better at recognizing them more quickly rather than letting them quietly accumulate in my mind like so many dark clouds.  

Second, when they do show up, I need to have the presence of mind to reframe them.  In truth, like many people, I have always been able to use negative emotions (stress, anxiety, anger, righteous indignation, guilt, etc.) to help me achieve goals.  However, I have slowly come to the point of view that nothing good truly comes from relying on negative emotions to move forward and improve.  They work in the short term, but not in the long term (at least not for me).  Therefore, the trick for me is to recognize them, and then perform a little alchemy and turn them into a more positive and optimistic intent.  

An example might go like this.  Old Me:  "I completely screwed up this week, and I'm up five pounds.  I am a lowly person.  I deserve to be pelted with rocks and garbage.  I shall flog myself furiously with a Cat o' nine tails in the form of a spartan healthy meal regimen.  That will show me."  New Me might say:  "Well, that wasn't the smartest way to spend last week.  I know I feel better when I'm eating healthily/moderately and exercising lots.  Therefore if I will start making those better choices, and I can look forward to feeling great."    

It's hard to argue against the point of view that the suffocating blankets of negative emotions can make weight management and healthy life a miserable and sometimes destructive process.  The choice to live in a healthy way is a happy one.  Why not treat it that way.  

One last point on negative emotions.  Even though I know they aren't very helpful and that I'd like to have less of them, dark thoughts will happen.  No point beating myself up when they do.  Because really, that would be a double negative, which is a grammatical no-no.  

In the words of a world's most influential philosopher:  "I deserve good things. I am entitled to my share of happiness. I refuse to beat myself up. I am attractive person. I am fun to be with."  You were right Stuart Smalley!*  

Cheers,

dk

* For those who have no idea who Stuart Smalley is, I'm sorry for the confusing cultural reference.  Please see early 1990's Saturday Night Live starring current US Senator Al Franken.  Sadly, all of the old Stuart Smalley clips have mysteriously vanished from the Internet.  

Of sin, guilt, redemption and what I ate over the weekend (not necessarily in that order)

Context for this weekend:  My wife was out of town enjoying a girl's weekend in DC, so I was left to my own devices (other than the usual shuttling around of my two daughters).  All choices were mine and mine alone (as it should be!).  So from a healthy life perspective, can I be trusted to make decisions for myself?  When I make decisions, can I handle the moral repercussions?

I was thinking about all of this while reading the Sunday NY Times Magazine, which had a fascinating article about people who track everything in their life with analysis.  They go way beyond diet and exercise, including variables such as mood, number of times they pick their nose, etc.  It was a good reminder to use my recently invented Guilt-o-lator which tracks my guilt levels at different points in time.  It's still a prototype model that is available only in Japan (or, more accurately, only available in my imagination).

BTW, for those interested, here is the article referenced above...
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/02/magazine/02self-measurement-t.html?ref=magazine

So what were the results as the weekend progressed?

Friday:  I got home a little bit early so I could see my younger daughter give her presentation on Walt Disney (the nice version, not the guy from the McCarthy hearings).  Afterwards, I was working from home.  So how did it go:

Friday afternoon:  little bit of grazing, but I focused on beef jerky (still loving it) and an apple.

Guilt-o-lator reading:  low

Friday night:  sushi.  Good news:  sashimi.  Not so good news:  spicy tuna.

Guilt-o-lator reading:  lowish (might have been higher, but it's a Friday night and I deserve a break)

Saturday workout:  lifted weights (had a great workout)

Guilt-o-lator reading:  erased any bad feelings about spicy tuna

Saturday breakfast:  Special K, banana, 0 fat Greek yogurt, coffee

Guilt-o-lator reading:  very low (except for the bite I took from my daughter's donut -- but it was only 1 bite)

Saturday lunch:  PB&J (on low cal bread), cottage cheese

Guilt-o-lator reading:  low

Saturday afternoon:  began grazing (couldn't tell you exactly what I ate, but hummus & crackers were in the mix)

Guilt-o-lator reading:  rising

Saturday pre-dinner:  my similarly stranded neighbor (his DSW was at a reunion) came over w/ his four kids for a BBQ.  Started with snacks (cheese, salami, crackers) and beer (Bud Select 55 -- 1 POINTS value per pop/nice!).

Guilt-o-lator reading:  rising faster, definitely in the yellow zone

Saturday dinner:  1/2 pound burger + bun, mayonnaise infused salad stuff, grilled vegetables

Guilt-o-lator reading:  in the red zone

After dinner:  kids up to bed, and I'm by myself.  What to do?  Why not have a glass of wine and the rest of the ice cream they didn't eat?

Guilt-o-lator reading (upon waking up next AM):  critical

Sunday AM exercise:  death-by-spinning (seriously, I wonder how many people actually self-combust on their bike when in their 3rd anaerobic cycle).

Guilt-o-lator reading:  back to the red/yellow zone

Sunday breakfast/lunch:  see Saturday

Guilt-o-lator reading:  edging back to the lower side of yellow

Sunday dinner:  grilled scallops and raw bar

Guilt-o-lator reading:  back to the green zone

Overall, Saturday night was far from a brilliant lifestyle performance, but I sandwiched my sin with some more angelic choices before and after.  I felt fairly well redeemed by the end of the weekend, and I'm fairly sure no permanent damage was done.

Bigger question:  is using the guilt-o-lator a good idea?  Logically, I would say that guilt can be a dangerous weapon in evaluating choices that have already been made.  It seems that I should not be dumping negative, self-flagellating thoughts on myself as a general matter of course.  That said, thinking about how I felt about my choices actually helped me course correct fairly quickly.  For example, at dinner Sunday night I turned down the bread basket.  I suspect that feeling a little bad about the Saturday binge helped fortify my defenses for the next day.

I may keep the guilt-o-lator around a little bit longer, and see if it is helpful or whether it permanently damages my soul and mental health.

What is your take on guilt?  And be honest!

Cheers,

dk

Get off your couch and give me 20! Healthy life role models from the front lines.

(from Army Times:  my new 4 star whole man role model!)

I recently finished reading a fascinating article about General David Petraeus in the May issue of Vanity Fair by Mark Bowden (of "Black Hawk Down" fame).  No matter your politics (and I would encourage everyone including myself to not share them!), Gen. David Petraeus is an unbelievably impressive and inspiring guy.  So what does this have to do with the size of my belly?  Nothing and everything.  Let me explain...

First off, I really was amazed reading about Petraeus, not just in his accomplishments, but also learning more about him as a man.  His combination of intelligence, discipline, drive and focus on his whole being is incredible.  Most of all his competitiveness is undeniable and inspiring.  Again, what does this have to do with me and my relationship with my couch and remote control?  I will attempt to answer in two parts:

1. He puts it out there and makes public commitments

His standard approach to attacking challenges, both personal and professional, is to make public commitments.  For example, his standard doctrine is to announce the specifics of how he plans to conduct a campaign and then to deliver virtually all of the objectives.  One quote from the article really stuck with me:

"Committing to a particular goal publicly puts pressure on oneself.  It becomes an enormous action-forcing mechanism and often helps you achieve more than you might have had you kept your goals to yourself."

I found this to be an incredibly compelling statement that could be very aptly applied to accomplishing a personal goal, such as reaching a weight loss or maintenance milestone.  It is one of the big reasons I blog.  I like sharing and being part of the Weight Watchers community, but frankly writing about my own challenges and goals really has been my own highly effective forcing mechanism for staying on the straight and narrow of a healthy lifestyle.  Public commitments can be to a close circle, such as friends/family, to a wide circle such as the planet Earth by way of the internet (not that all of planet Earth reads my blog).  

2. Mental toughness is achievable and contagious 

David Petraeus is the walking, breathing form of the expression mind over matter.  Apparently, one of his favorite expressions to his troops is the simple "Life is a competitive endeavor."  He applies it personally to both physical and mental dimensions.  He graduated at the top of his class in West Point both academically and physically.  I'm sure he is naturally bright and physically gifted, but these kind of achievements come from discipline and mental commitment, not just born gifts.  He chooses to achieve, and therefore he does.

To whit, this is a man who took a bullet through his chest in a live training exercise, taking away a portion of his lung at the age of 38.  Apparently, days after surgery, he pulled out his IV tubes and starting doing push-ups to show the hospital staff that he could return to active duty.  That is the definition of tough.

He is now 57 years old, and I have a sneaking suspicion that he rarely, if ever, misses a workout, no matter how little sleep he has had.  Granted, it is a bit of a job requirement when you are in the army, but I think I can safely assume that he takes this responsibility particularly personally and seriously.

What I find important in his example is this:  he is just a man, not an alien or different species of human.  He's not Michael Jordan or LeBron James, who have an array of physical gifts that bely comprehension (though it is worth noting that mental toughness is the X-factor for both of those guys too).  Any one of us is as capable to developing mental toughness and focus.  It's a choice.

Role models are important.  When living my life, I am constantly facing decisions both professionally and personally.  I try to do the right thing as often as I possibly can.  It is easier in some ways to make the right decision professionally because I know that I am accountable to so many other people, ranging from our members, to our staff and colleagues and to our shareholders.  Sometimes making the right decision in your personal life, particularly health and wellness can be harder.  Not having the pressure of responsibility to others means I have to find motivation from other places.  Even if it means seeking it from the example of people I admire, like David Petraeus.

I put this into play this past week.  I had just gotten back from vacation, which was fun and rewarding, but was also a little exhausting.  I was feeling a little bit unmotivated when I got back.  I was dragging to the gym, and I was slipping in some of my food choices.  I read this article, and I was immediately fired up, focused and energized.  My workouts have bounced back big time, and my head is very much in the game.  If he can do pushups after a chest cavity blast, I can get off my rear and hit the gym.  And I did so with no small amount of vengeance.

So the next time, I'm feeling like not setting my alarm clock for 4:45 AM, and I will simply ask myself:  what would the General do?

For whatever it's worth, you would be justified if you felt a little bit of concern for my colleagues at work.  I'm not really known for lacking intensity, and it's hard to imagine that their discovering that I'm choosing a general as a new role model is particularly comforting.  Therefore, I am publicly promising not to shave my head and not to wander the offices demanding spontaneous bouts of calisthenics or pushup demonstrations.  Unless they want me to.  

Cheers,

dk

My spring break vacation healthy habit post-game show. Give that man a "B"!

What is it about the last day of a vacation that it always marks the moment in time where I say:  "I'm finally starting to relax!"?  Yet all good vacations must end.  In this case it was a very good vacation:

• I got loads of time with my family.  My girls were largely forced to spend time with me, and they curiously seemed to enjoy it.  
• I was able to see a lot of great stuff.  Costa Rica really is an amazing country, particularly its tremendous biodiversity despite its relatively small size.  We spent quality time with a host of monkeys, birds and butterflies while the country's many poisonous snakes kindly kept their distance.  Beyond its natural denizens, Costa Rica is also a crazy beautiful country, almost a curious mix of Ireland meets Caribbean.  
• I was out of cell phone coverage for four days (!)
• I was able to slightly alter the pigmentation of my skin to something less blinding than the translucent white with which I entered the week.    

So how was vacation on the healthy lifestyle dimension?  Not perfect, but not bad.  I pretty much hewed to to the broad strokes of my plan.  On the exercise dimension:

• Our first four days were in wilderness-like conditions, first in the mountains in the center of the country and then in the mountains not too far from the coast on a river.  In these environs, two of the days were very active/busy with hiking, ziplining, horseback riding and river rafting.  The other two days were a bit more sedate due to drive times between locations.
• The last three days were at a resorty place on the northern Pacific coast.  That could have made for a lethargic experience, but I was able to get access to a decent gym each of the three days.  Further, I tried to burn off some additional nervous energy on sea kayaks and paddle boats.  
• On an unexpected note, paddle boats actually give a really good workout if you pedal at a decent clip.  My impression of them was that of a parasol on the Thames River, but I was clearly selling the giant, plastic pedal-powered detergent bottles short.  I guess I shouldn't judge a watercraft by its cover.  
• Overall, I would say that while it was not a hard core vacation, the activity quotient was respectable.   

And what the food?:

• I stuck with my breakfast plan and mostly avoided the pastry/egg/sausage/bacon options when such options were even available.  
• Had normal lunches, gravitating toward traditional beans/rice and chicken/seafood (ceviche is hugely popular in Costa Rica).  
• Dinners were pretty sane as well.  
• I did not do much snacking, primarily due to the fact that snacking options were not particularly plentiful.  Funny how that works.  

I have a couple of interesting observations about food in Costa Rica:

(Rafiki Safari Lodge on the Savegre River -- highly recommended!!!)

1. The more rustic/outdoorsy the location, the more normal the portion sizes.  One place we stayed, Rafiki Lodge, was a hybrid camping/cabin place that put a heavy emphasis on outdoor activity (rafting and riding).  It was a terrific place with great service.  When they served dinner, they gave you a choice between two simple meals each night.  In every meal, the portion sizes were actually normal, and they didn't seem to want to treat you like Hansel and Gretel.  It was almost quaint!  
2. The more resortish the location, the more it tended toward typical American fare with typical American portions.  Suddenly, buffets became the standard, and gorging became the norm.  
3. On this trip, one of the resort nights featured a traditional Brazilian Churrasco (never mind that we weren't in Brazil).  If you haven't gone to one, a Churrasco is basically a meat orgy gone horribly wrong.  They have servers come by your table every 3-5 minutes with a new meat until you are so stuffed that you finally surrender and turn your green table card to its flip red side until you recover your Nero-esque appetite and flip it back to green.  Why is this necessary?  
4. The traditional Costa Rican fare seemed much more sane.  They lean toward simple dishes such as beans/rice (gallo pinto), fruits, seafood, etc.  More importantly, they eat normal/modest portions.  
5. Basically:  local = healthy/sane, resort = scary/temptation ridden.  

This represents about 25% of what is presented at a typical Churrasco bonanza, even putting aside the all-you-can-eat salad and desert bars.  

This represents 100% of what is served in a typical Casado lunch.  No, this plate is not three feet in diameter.












I'm really not trying to get judgmental about what people do at resorts.   I'm merely ranting about buffets which do bad things to nice people.

In summary, this vacation proved that a little bit of planning goes a long way in helping me keep it together.  I mentally planned exercise, and therefore I did it.  I mentally planned better meal choices, and I mostly stuck to those.  However, it seems that my pre-vacation checklist was not completely exhaustive.  I forgot to pack underwear. Yikes.  [BTW, you might not be surprised to know that it is not easy to shop for fashion forward clothing of any type in the rain forest -- just look at what Tarzan had to make do with.]    [I will spare you the loin cloth photos.]

Cheers,

dk

Spring vacation survival plan (not nearly as grim as that sounds)

Sitting in an airport, getting ready to do one last work trip (to DC for a childhood obesity conference) before I go on vacation for a week.  As I was getting ready this morning, I did my pre-vacation physical self-check:

• Can still comfortably button the upper button of my shirt collar:  check
• Can use the normal number of holes on my belt:  check
• Withering full body scan to determine suitability of self for warm weather gear:  check (I think)

It seems I’m still at goal weight (also confirmed on scale last weekend), so that’s good.

Yet my healthy life work is never done.  It’s time to get a plan for the upcoming week.  It’s time to write out my vacation action plan:

1. Recognize that there is probably not much I could do over the week to destroy my physical condition.  Although, I keep hearing the statistic about gaining 7 lbs on a cruise ship, so clearly there is a theoretical level of damage that could be done.
2. Recognize that I’m not going on a cruise ship, so I don’t have to worry about being mummified in a casket of all-you-can-eat buffets.  That’s a good thing.  
3. Appreciate and be thankful for the fact that I have the good fortune of being able to spend the week with my family running around Costa Rica, a place known for physical activity.  That’s a very good thing.
4. Have an exercise plan.  Having finally seen my itinerary for the week, it seems that every day I have some reason to move.  Hikes, volcanoes (hopefully not swimming in them), zip lines, ocean, etc.  The first four days are definitely active vacation days.  On the last three, I’m at a place with a good fitness center, which I will definitely use.  
5. Recognize the limits of my exercise plan.  This trip is not like skiing where you can easily burn 1,000+ calories in a day.  Therefore, there are limits on activity points.
6. Given the limits on activity points, have a plan to not go off the deep end on food.  Keep in sane for breakfast.  Keep it pretty sane for lunch.  Keep it kind of sane at dinner.  Look for lots of fruit, fish, and vegetables.  Drink tons of water.  
7. Don’t count POINTS.  Maybe this one is heresy, but vacations should not feel like a healthy lifestyle siege.  Rather, I will seek to apply common sense, and I will seek to not engage in risky food behavior.  That seems easy enough (?!).  
8. Have fun and try to keep up with my girls.  Not an easy task.  

This seems like a risky and inefficient way to earn Activity POINTS...

I think the point for me in keeping it together in vacation is not one of fearing an impending disaster on the scale.  Rather, I view it as proving to myself that I can live a full and food-rewarding life in a healthy way, even when on vacation.  My lifestyle does not feel like one of deprivation during normal work weeks, so should it change when I’m on vacation?

And no, don’t expect any vacation pictures of me wearing a man-thong to show up on Facebook during my week off.  I’m sure that is a source of massive disappointment to all.

Cheers,

David

Is a Speedo like a corset? Can it keep me from eating? Man, fear, swimsuit and maintenance.

Conversation from my head yesterday:

"Eeeeeks.  I need to put on a swimsuit!  In the past few weeks' blitz of travel, work and general mayhem, I had almost forgotten that I'm going on vacation in a week.  It's going to be hot (90 degrees), sunny, and in the general vicinity of salt water.  That means a swim suit.  Crap.  What if I look horrendously bad?  Reason for panic?  Is there anything I could do about it with a week's notice?  OK, let's get on the scale and survey the damage.  Phew.  I'm still at goal weight."

It's hard to rock this look, even at goal weight...
(BTW, no, I don't wear a Speedo, but you get the point)

OK, the above internal dialogue is interesting to me on two dimensions.

One:  that I even care.  What happened to me?  Why do I care what I look like in a swim suit?

The answer is that I always cared.  I just didn't like to talk or think about it.  I suspect on some level most guys care what they look like on the beach.  It's just not cool to talk about it.  [I, seemingly, have given up on trying to keep up the appearances of being cool, so I do talk about it now.]  It's a little bit of a vulnerable feeling to know that you can grab handfuls of adipose while barreling toward the ocean.  I used to spend a lot of time trying to push my diaphragm through my back to disguise that which cannot be hidden.

I used to think that an extraordinarily nice perk of getting to goal weight would be not having to sweat this as much.  But did it?

This leads to Two:  fear of failure spotlighted by a beach vacation can be a powerfully motivating force.

In fact, I knew that I had a beach trip coming up for Spring break.  I thought about it a lot during the first few months of the year.  It was always in the back of my mind when I would start each work week on Monday.  I thought about it when I was traveling last week and was being tempted by hotel breakfast buffets of carb-ridden pastry delights.  I thought about it when I was debating whether to subject myself to another 4:45 AM wake-up call for my 95th consecutive workout.

I actually use these milestones on the calendar to help keep me focused during the year.  It's easier for me to think about goals if there is something 2-3 months out that offers the promise of a reward (or avoidance of the opposite:  failure).  After this vacation, I will use the threat of warm weather, shorts, t-shirts, lighter clothes, etc. to keep me honest.  I will think about going to the pool this summer and not looking like the President of Weight Watchers who couldn't keep his lifestyle together.

For me, thinking about this kind of ridiculous vain stuff is a powerfully motivating way of staying on maintenance.  Maintenance is just different than losing weight.  When you are losing weight, you are in the heat of pitched battle, thinking about the weigh-in each week.  Maintenance by contrast is a long, unending process that definitionally doesn't have any of the epic moments of the weight loss process (10%!!!  Goal weight!!! Lifetime!!!).  Therefore, I try to create my own little made-up epic moments.  "I will look awesome on the beach!"

It's all a little sad and un-masculine, but it works for me.

I think the broader point is that setting manageable goals is always a good strategy.  It's a good strategy when losing weight:  don't worry about getting to goal, focus on losing the first 5%.  It's also a good strategy for maintenance:  don't worry about being at goal until the last day of my life.  Think about standing on the beach in two months.

As a side note, I did myself no favors yesterday on the whole beach-preparedness project.  We watched my beloved Blue Devils play West Virginia in the Tournament last night (and crush them I might add).  We supported the cause by diving into pork BBQ, slaw, mac & cheese and cornbread -- true North Carolina style fanship provisions.  And today is Easter Sunday, hardly a light eating day.  All of this just means more focus for the upcoming week because on Saturday morning I get on a plane for my own little epic Tournament:  the beach.

Cheers,

dk

When large cheese dishes collide with active pursuit. The Swiss paradox.

I find myself in the midst of a somewhat extended European trip right now.  It started in Frankfort, Germany this past Thursday and Friday, continuing this coming week to the UK, Belgium and the Netherlands.  So far it’s been a great trip. I had the pleasure of spending two fantastic days with my colleagues from the German management team as well as participating in a Townhall with German leaders.  I have more of the same in the countries that follow this week.

One of the side effects of this trip has been the weekend layover.  This happens a few times a year, and it is a necessary part of undertaking lots of overseas travel.  I try to make the best of it by spending a weekend exploring whatever city is hosting me.  The plan this trip was to spend the weekend in London, so I called an old friend.  He informed me that he and his family were getting ready to head down to Switzerland to spend their school break skiing.  Why don’t I join them for the weekend he asked?  It’s not wise to gaze too long at a gift horse such as this, so I jumped at the opportunity before he could take it back.

I arrived Friday night,  and I got connected with a Swiss ski guide who proceeded to beat me senseless on the slopes from 9:30 to 4:30 on Saturday.  I suspected that my experience skiing with the guide would be somewhat like my experiences with other types of exercise performed under the supervision of a professional:  I would work about 10 times as hard.  I was not disappointed as he was somewhat merciless in a very nice Swiss way.

We pulled into a late lunch at a quaint mountainside restaurant, and I collapsed in a heap at one of the outdoor picnic tables.  I glanced through the menu and did not see a single item sanctioned by the healthy living police.  Instead, my friendly guide encouraged me to try one of the Alp specialties, called Croûte.

(Impressive!)

What is Croûte?  Nothing that a sedentary person should eat very often.  Basically, it’s a layer of bread baked in wine smothered with Alpine cheese, infused with ham, served with a fried egg on top for good measure.  There has been much talk about smaller portion sizes in Europe, but this was not in evidence here.  This thing consumed an entire small (not too small) skillet.  I did not attempt to calculate its POINTS value, but suffice to say, it was completely decadent.  And it was unbelievably good.

[As a curious side note, he also encouraged me to try a carbonated drink called Rivella.  Well, when in Switzerland, do as the Swiss do.  In this case, that involved sipping on a soft drink made from milk extract (whey to be specific).  Truth be told, it wasn’t bad, and the one I got was Rivella blue label, which is low calorie.  Let me re-cap this:  I had carbonated diet milk byproduct.  Seriously.]

Back to the Croûte.  How is it that the relatively thin Swiss can regularly eat this stuff?  My guide wolfed his down, and he was a trim dude.  The guy who ran the restaurant was skinny as a rail.  Everybody there seemed to be in great shape despite diving into delicacies such as this.  What could explain such a towering mystery?  What is this Swiss paradox?

It’s hardly complicated.  Five to six hours of skiing burns a ton of calories.  In fact, according to my handy Weight Watchers Activity Points calculator, skiing burns about 10 POINTS value per hour.  Assume an effective four hours of skiing (taking out time on lifts, lunch tables, etc.), and I burned about 40 POINTS.  The Croûte surely was no match for this?  Well, actually it was probably close to break-even, but I chose to give the exercise side of the ledger the benefit of the doubt.

I do not find it to be a surprise that places where people are outside ALL the time, like Switzerland, Colorado, etc., tend to have lower obesity rates.  It is amazing how useful couch extraction is to helping to fix the calorie deficit equation.  It doesn’t have to be skiing, as people in these two locales undertake a myriad of outdoor physical activities.  Being active in mountainous regions seems to be a way of life.  There is lesson in this for all of us.

The other helpful concept in here is that of the active vacation.  Spend a week where you are doing something active for four to six hours a day, and you can just about eat whatever you want (within reason).  This applies to skiing, biking, hiking, surfing, walking tours, etc., etc.  Sadly, it does not apply to lying on the beach.  Oh well.

Moral of the story:  know your vacation calorie deficit math.

Cheers,

dk

What do Cortes and Skinny Jeans have to do with each other? Tip: successful maintenance. Vanity Part 2.

Why does maintenance seem hard?  Probably because it is hard.  Keeping motivation going and avoiding the temptation of pulled pork BBQ platters with hush puppies and fries is a long, tough process.  It's hard because it never ends.  In this way, maintenance is very different than the weight loss process.  Theoretically, the weight loss phase has a beginning and end.  Maintenance only has a beginning.

Just as there are tips and tricks to taking the weight off, there are just as many tips and tricks to keeping it off.  Most of them center around the general topic of focus and motivation.  The problem with focus and motivation is that they are qualities that seem to come naturally to people other than me.  I have to consciously find ways to invent games and charades to keep myself motivated to stay on the righteous path of healthy living.

I often hear from countless women who talk effusively about the feeling of being able to shop in the "regular" section of women's clothing stores after losing their weight.  They talk about being able to show off their arms and legs.  They talk about buying pretty clothes, rather than just shoes and handbags.  They talk about the joy of buying a completely new wardrobe and then using it as a way of keeping themselves motivated to not regain their weight.  

So what is the equivalent technique for men?  It's time for me to once again delve into sharing my inner secrets in a way that will probably come back to haunt me in the form of taunts and other forms of verbal lashing.   So here it goes:  


I like to buy clothes that make me look pretty.  I like to buy clothes that make me look thin/fit.

There.  I said it.

First off, it might be helpful to review the fashion (or lack thereof) choices that I used to make when I was heavier.  Primary examples included anything baggy, loose fitting, "relaxed fit", etc.  Staples included roomy khakis with pleats and baggy jeans.  I used to wear pretty big, flowy (is that a word?) suits.  Big, heavy sweaters were staples.  It was kind of the fashion equivalent to standing inside of a refrigerator sized cardboard box.  Just because the box is big, is it necessarily the case that the contents inside are equally big?  Just because my clothes were big and baggy, wasn't there some possibility that something thin was on the inside?  

As I started to lose weight, I had the pleasing experience of having minor wardrobe malfunctions.  I began requiring the installation of more notches on my belt.  My shirts started to feel like tents and sometimes like small parachutes.  I started to squeeze up and fold over more and more of the waist on my pants.  By the time I reached goal weight, I started to look like Tom Hanks in Big when he reverted back to being a little kid stuck in a large suit.  Either that or David Byrne from Stop Making Sense.

On an emotional level, let me just say that this transformation completely rocked the house.  It is hard to express how happy I was when I shrank to a size 34 pant (down from 38, leaning north of that).  It is hard for me to describe how unbelievably awesome it is to have the sales guy at my fav men's fashion emporium start to direct me toward styles more suitable for, as he put it, "trim men".  It was shameless salesmanship on his part, and I completely fell for it.  With a big, fat smile on my face.

I began the process of buying thin guy clothes.  These included flat front pants with a trimmer cut.  I was able to buy a pair of Levi's with a so-called "Matchstick" cut.  Unbelievably, they actually fit without making me look like a 70's Jordache ad gone horribly awry (only Erik Estrada could pull that look off).  I started buying trimmer cut suits and jackets.  I was able to go down a couple of neck sizes, and I asked the store to take in the sides of the shirts for a slimmer fit.  In short, I have now completely replaced my wardrobe, head to toe.  In the process, I have turned into a person whose pulse rises when confronted with nice looking apparel.  I actually like shopping, and I don't need my wife to pick things out for me anymore.  I frankly find it all slightly frightening.

So what does all of this have to do with staying on maintenance?  Answer:  everything!  All of my stuff fits me well now, but a 10 pound weight gain would be disastrous.  10 pounds is all it would take for me to look like a stuffed sausage.  Given that I fancy myself as kind of a dandy these days, Dave in a bratwurst costume is just not an acceptable outcome.

The story goes that Cortes had all of his ships burned so he could then go on to conquer the Aztecs, destroy their culture, and enslave millions.  He burned his ships to prevent his men from falling into mutiny. There is a lesson in this for me (no, not the enslaving part):  one way to prevent healthy habit mutiny is to burn my own ships, in the form of my prior wardrobe.  Or maybe something more productive like giving it to Goodwill.  Which is what I plan to do today.

Moral of the story:  when applied properly, vanity works.

Cheers,

dk

Jerky: misunderstood food or man's best friend? Or both.

Can a movie change the way you eat?  For the better part of 25 years, the answer for me was yes.

Dial the clock back to 1983, when one of the all time great cinematic achievements made its way onto screens across the United States.  That movie, of course, was Trading Places.  My favorite scene (if I was forced to choose) was the one in which Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy), Louis Winthorpe III (Dan Akroyd), Ophelia (Jamie Lee Curtis -- looking great I might add) and Coleman (Denholm Elliott) are all dressed in disguise on the New Years Eve train, attempting to recover the orange juice crop report from the dreaded Clarence Beaks (the amazing Paul Gleason).

Billy Ray, disguised as Naga Eboko in African garb, says hello to Coleman, disguised as a priest:

Billy Ray/Eboko:  "Beef Jerky?"


Coleman/Priest:  "No son, it gives me wind, something terrible."  

These lines were indelibly etched in my mind for the next quarter of a century.  Beef jerky causes uncontrollable flatulence.  How could they make such a thing up, even in a movie?  It must be true.  For 25 years, I couldn't look at a Slim Jim without grimacing.

Two years ago, I gave myself a long hard look in the mirror.  I asked the wrenching question that I had been avoiding for so many years.  Was I a food bigot?  Was I willing to assume cheap, tawdry stereotypes foisted on my simple mind by Hollywood?  Was I a food profiler?  I looked deep in my soul, tears streaming down my cheeks, and I accepted the truth.  I had given jerky a bum rap, and dammit, it deserved better.

My moral failings aside, one might reasonably ask the question:  who cares?  Fair enough.  Here is why beef jerky matters:  very few calories and many grams of protein.  This translates into snacking and satiety glory.  One serving of jerky typically has 70 calories, 14 g of protein in a 1.1 oz serving.  In addition, they take a while to eat because they are hard and chewy.  These characteristics alone warranted a second look.

A couple of points about genus Jerkius.  I do not consider Slim Jim's to be beef jerky because they aren't.  They are beef sticks, and I still find this to be a concerning concept/descriptor (sounds like they come from a processed meat extruder, which they probably do).  Further, they have 150 calories, 13 grams of fat and only 6 grams of protein.  Not an awesome deal.  On the other hand, consider Oberto Beef Jerky:  70 calories, 2 grams of fat, 15 grams of protein.  That's what I'm talking about.  [Nutritional caveat:  I know that beef jerky has too much sodium.  I just choose to ignore this fact.  If it makes you feel any better, I never use table salt.]

It was time to give the jerky an open minded try.  I got some Trader Joe's buffalo and turky jerky, and gave them a shot.  Conclusion:  they tasted FANTASTIC and my G-I system remained in tact and non-offensive.  Another stereotype crushed!

Recently, I have tried to expand my purview of jerky to include some more artisanal/gourmet varieties.  Here are four that I've tried recently (I found these from a NY Times review from two years ago)...

1) Mahogany Gourmet Meats "Beef Slab".  How could I not try something labelled Beef Slab?  All organic, natural, lean meat was also a good call.

Assessment:  very tasty, great name, but a bit too tough.  There is a fine line between a piece of leather and a fine slice of beef jerky.  This variety was a bit too tough for my personal preference.  Others may prefer this style, particularly as it really does take a little longer to eat.

http://www.smokedmeats.com/

2) Gary West Buffalo and Elk Jerky.  Why should cows take all the heat?  In many respects, wild game is the perfect jerky given that elk and buffalo tend to be pretty lean cuts at the start.  Unlike the Mahogany, which was a slab, the Gary West jerky looked more like a meat stick (i.e., Slim Jim) except it was not perfectly round and didn't have that industrial extruded look.  Again, pretty much all natural except a little bit of Sodium Nitrite (tsk, tsk).

Assessment:  these sticks rock.  Really tasty and chewy/tender, not tough.  At 60 calories per serving, I can see these as a staple.

http://www.garywest.com/

3) Texas A+M Aggie Brand beef jerky:  First off, how could I not support public education?  This stuff is made and sold by Texas A+M.  Probably the best part of the Aggie beef jerky experience is the purchasing process.  Quaintly, there is no online store, and purchases require the use of a telephone (seriously!).  Even better, they answer the phone "Rosenthal Meat Science Department, how may I help you?"  Seriously, the assistant for the meat sciences department answers the phone, takes your order and has your product shipped (she's VERY nice BTW).  That said, I couldn't stop imaging the range of experimentation happening near my meat processing.

Assessment:  unfreakinglybelievably great jerky.  Amazingly tasty and totally tender.  This stuff is almost too good.  It's also completely natural and unpreserved, so remember not to leave it on a shelf for four or five months.

Phone: 979.845.5651

4) Alaska's Best Salmon jerky, sold by Trapper's Creek in, where else, Alaska.  The Trapper's Creek guy found me via Twitter and put me to the challenge.  I was a little nervous about this one as dried fish doesn't seem quite as intuitive as dried beef.  I dug deep, manned up, and placed my order of dried fish (variety pack please!).

Assessment:  Not bad!  Same kind of nutritional profile as the beef (70 cal, 2 g fat, 13 g protein).  If you like smoked salmon, you will probably like salmon jerky.  I did.  My only minor complaint is that they are a little oily, though not too fishy, which was more of an issue for finger tip clean-up.  I'm not sure if this will be my go-to dried chunk-of-meat, but it adds a nice bit of variety.

http://www.trapperscreek.com/

BTW, I've since been hearing about other varieties of jerky including meat free (incongruous for me) and even caffeinated jerky (should red meat and caffeine really be mixed?  Isn't this how crime sprees start?).  

Jerky is now a fixed part of my snacking routine.  In many respects, it really is perfect man-food (not that women don't also love the jerky -- they just don't love the jerks).  Eating it makes me feel a little bit like the Marlborough Man, and the sodium is much less dangerous than the cigarettes.

So there you have it.  For all of you adventurous Weight Watchers-friendly food lovers, give the above a shot and let me know what you think.

Please do share your own jerky thoughts (again, I'm referring to the food, not behavior) and any other similarly weird food loves.

Cheers,

dk

Go-to foods: Breakfast

I'm a big believer in ritual and consistency, possibly born of my borderline OCD tendencies.  I aggressively seek ways of not making decisions in my every-day life as I feel that I've more than enough decisions to make in not-so-everyday life.  This is particularly the case when it comes to food.

I've often heard of people complaining that it's hard to stay on program because they get bored eating the same things over and over again.  When I hear this, I nod my head sympathetically and manipulate my facial muscles to express sympathy and understanding.  I can certainly understand intellectually how variety my be the spice of life for many.  I just don't relate on any kind of personal level.

I am more than happy to eat the same breakfast and lunch pretty much every day of the week.  I would have not much of a problem doing the same for dinner as well.  Case in point, I was known in my past life (read, plumper me) to buy a gigantic pizza, and then eat it for 4 to 5 days straight.  Preferably cold and hopefully not moldy.

It's not that I don't love food or that I'm afraid to try new kinds of food.  When it comes to eating, there are precious few things that I'm not willing to put into my mouth.  The list of foods that I won't eat is probably down to 2 or 3, with grapefruit still being the number one food that I really avoid (too bitter).  More the issue is that I cannot be bothered to summon the 12 IQ points necessary to make a food selection.

This makes having basic meals on program really simple (even for my little brain).  Take breakfast for example.  My approach here has been to start with some basic constructs and evolve them over time.  By way of example, here are my better breakfast software release notes:

• Better breakfast 1.0:  Quaker flavored oatmeal, Danon fruit at the bottom yogurt, and coffee w/ sugar and 2% milk.  This wasn't a terrible version 1.0, but it clearly contained a bunch of bugs.  By way of example, standard flavored oatmeal has lots of added sugar and flavors that may or may not be natural.  I'm not puritanical about the whole organic food thing, but coughing up 3 POINTS given the volume of food didn't seem a good trade off.  
• Better breakfast 2.0:  Quaker Weight Control oatmeal, Danon Lite yogurt.  Better, particularly since the WC oatmeal has more protein.  Still, not enough food to keep me full until lunch.
• Better breakfast 3.0:  Quaker Weight Control oatmeal (160 cal) w/ added banana and blueberries.  Also for this release is the introduction of Chobani 0% Greek yogurt with fruit (around 140 cal).  I have become a giant Greek yogurt convert:  lots of protein and not too many calories in the 0% fat variety.  Still, I was sensing that there might be too much added sugar -- probably an extra 2 POINTS worth.
• Better breakfast 4.0:  McCann's non-flavored instant oatmeal (100 cal) + fruit.  Fage 0% plain yogurt (90 cal) + grapes.  For this who aren't super fast with their mental POINTS calculator, my breakfast works out to about 6 POINTS.  Given that I get 31 POINTS per day (I'd prefer not to get flamed by those of you who only get 18 per day...  don't hate me just because I'm a tall guy on maintenance), this is a totally manageable total.  

Breakfast 4.0 is pretty perfect for me.  It's a ton of food without any wasted POINTS in the form of added sugar other than from the fruit.  Again, this isn't a moral judgement (I'm not one to spray paint on fur coats or picket HFCS plants), it's a purely practical one.  The reason this breakfast plucks my heartstrings is that it has been bulked up with fruit, so it is very filling.  This means that I really have no hunger-related reason to eat again before lunch.  

Now that I'm on Breakfast 4.0, I really don't foresee the need for a change in software.  Ever.  [Maybe there is a lesson for Microsoft in this somewhere.]  Therefore, the secret to my personal breakfast success has been iteration/optimization rather that constant exploration.  

I've applied the same logic to lunch and snacks, which I can share in a later post (including which Weight Watchers bars I eat and how I really feel about artificial ingredients).   

Feel free to share your own breakfast tricks.  I'm getting bored with mine.  

Cheers,

dk