Sunday, May 22, 2011

Denial. Bad. The story of my crummy weigh-in.

Allow me to remind the world for the 39th time that travel is hard on my regimen.  This is particularly the case for my biannual trips to Australia.  Though native Australians love to complain about their national airline, I have to tip my hat to Qantas for running a pretty tight ship.  In particular, I still hold that they serve the best airline food around, though this is an admittedly low bar.  Combine their almost-haute cuisine with 24 hours of non-stop travel time, and it's a recipe for eating disaster.  I tried my noble best to not careen completely off the rails, but I was only marginally successful.  I exercised hard this past week, but there is only so much working out before the crushing tide of too much food overwhelms.  Basically, I just got back from a cruise.

In general, I have to say that the past few months have been pretty rough from a staying on-plan perspective.  I don't ever recall a time in my professional life with quite as much travel and work socializing as I have experienced over the past few months.

All of this is a lead-up to 6 PM last night.

Fun fact about my house:  we keep a Weight Watchers grade Tanita professional scale in our house that was acquired from a medical supply shop several years ago.  Its presence means that I can have a Weight Watchers worthy weigh-in any time I like.  Yet, for the past few months, I have avoided this hideous device like the plague.

I was in three consecutive Sydney-based Weight Watchers meetings this past Tuesday, and I could have weighed-in at any of them.  I didn't.

Why?  The very obvious answer is that I really didn't want to know the truth.

So at 6 PM last night, I was fishing something out of the guest-room closet where I keep our Tanita scale, and I had the sudden impulse to man-up and step on the scale.  What ensued felt a bit like being hit with a club.  6 pounds over goal.  Ugh.  I proceeded to toss myself into a one hour tail spin replete with rampant self-abuse and prolific self-cursing.  In an effort to further propel my self-flagellation, I grabbed my waist and shook it, cursing myself all the way.  Boy did I suck.

Two observations about this little hour of sunshine and the time that led up to it:

One:  What's with avoiding the scale?  There is something so dumb and self-destructive about my avoiding weigh-in's.  I know that I'm slipping, yet somehow denial will make it all the better.  In the process, I miss the opportunity to more quickly self-correct and get back to a more sane and healthy choices.  Avoiding the weigh-in results in a building cycle of not so awesome choices followed by further avoidance.  This my friends is how I successfully gained six pounds.

What's the definition of denial?  Courtesy of Wikipedia (courtesy of Pyschpages):  "Denial is a defense mechanism postulated by Sigmund Freud, in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence."

There is some really interesting research that has come from a project called the National Weight Control Registry, run by some really sharp academics.  This research project has studied a large group of people who have lost significant weight and have maintained their weight loss for many years.  One shared trait among them is that they weigh themselves or get weighed regularly.  When they see their weight creep up, they use this as an early indicator that they are falling back on old habits and they course correct.  This is how they avoid gaining back 30, 50 or 100 pounds.  Usually the tolerance for re-initiating is about five pounds.  For these folks, this is not being a slave to the scale, but rather using the scale as an objective lifestyle feedback mechanism.

Lesson for me?  Take advantage of the Weight Watchers meetings I am already attending for work purposes, and get a weigh-in.

Two:  What's with the self-flagellation?  There is a widely held belief that men don't get emotional about their weight.  I don't know who came up with this theory, but based on my own giant sample size of one, I find this to be wholly ridiculous and untrue.  I believe that the only difference between men and women on this topic is how they express it.  My theory, based on my own self-observations, is that men have a tendency to bottle it up and try to put it into a safe little box in the back of their minds.  Based on my own experience, this is not a good practice -- at least not for me.  

I've been at goal, not moving more than 2-3 pounds in either direction for well over two to three years.  It is only natural for me to be disappointed and irritated with myself now that I have significantly deviated from this.  Owning this publicly, either on this blog or at a Weight Watchers meeting, is a better way to exorcise the demon by being honest about the fact that I slipped up.  It is the full opposite of denial.

This said, my self-flagellation was pretty over-the-top and definitely distorted.  I mean really, six pounds on a six foot three inch man is not worthy of a bridge jump.  I do realize that I tend to be a little ridiculous about this kind of stuff.  What can I say?  Don't do as I do!

So how to re-frame all of this?  First off, I need to be relieved that I finally stepped on the scale and confirmed what I already knew to be true.  Better to find out at six pounds than twenty.  Secondly, slapping myself repeatedly about the facial region is wholly unnecessary.  This isn't complicated.  I just need to break out the old tracker and get back on program.  Give me a month, and I can easily be back on goal.  Again, this is not a cause for stress, but rather it's a relief.

In summary, denial + self-abuse = unhelpful.  Proactivity + self-belief = good outcomes.

I get to spend an entire week in my normal routine (i.e., no travel).  Seems like a good opportunity to get back to basics.

Cheers,

dk

52 comments:

  1. Thanks for this, David -- I appreciate the candor and good tips...

    Blessings,
    Scott Houchins, WW Member - 144.8 lbs lost since 7/2010
    West Palm Beach, FL

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  2. Reading your blog is so refreshing. It's good to know that the CEO of Weight Watchers is an actual member who struggles with the same issues as the rest of the members. Thanks for your candor, and for reminding me that going to the meeting and facing the scale EVERY week is a cornerstone of success.

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  3. Thanks for your honesty. It's refreshing.

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  4. Thank you -- great reminder, and I appreciate your honesty, both as a WW member, and a staffer.

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  5. I know exactly how you feel about avoiding the scale when you're almost positive it is up. I try to weigh four or five times a week which helps me stay on track. I'm glad you get a week away from travel. It does make it harder! :)

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  6. This is a great post, and something I think we can all relate to! I had a bad week this week and was thinking about skipping my meeting tomorrow, but you have inspired me to face the scale, regroup and move on. Thank you!

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  7. I feel as though I could have written this post myself! I enjoy how you are very candid about your weight issues. It's nice to see a CEO being so transparent.

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  9. Ok. Ok. Since I'm a lifetime member at goal and had already weighed in for the month of May, I was not going to weigh in until I felt I lost the pounds I gained on vacation last week. I already went to my meeting last week and told them I'm not weighing in. And I was going to do the same this week. But after reading this, I'm womaning up and will step on it this week. LOVE you blog and inspiration.

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  10. Excellent! Thanks for this weeks blog. I have just achieved Lifetime and this maintenance is all new to me. A balancing act. I enjoy your blog very much! And it will help me to continue going to meetings and weighing in at least a few times per month.

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  11. Great post. We can be so hard on ourselves for not being able to stay on the 'straight and narrow' while life throws all kinds of curve balls at us.

    I have been a Lifetime member for almost three years and a leader. I learned from two summers of gaining 7-9 lbs. that I MUST weigh in every week. It is still a struggle as I am not as active in the summer but I have a secret weapon this year - a form fitting dress for our sons wedding in Aug!

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  12. Weighing in, regardless of the sometimes stark reality, is key. It is the one opportunity to check ourselves and get back or keep on track before it is too late.

    I weigh in even when I don't want to know the truth because being in denial for one week is a LOT better on the damage side, than going a month or longer. It takes so long for me to lose a pound, but I can gain one overnight. I'd hate to really undo so much of what I've worked so hard for.

    Bravo for finally checking in with yourself. You could have been kinder to yourself, because, really, beating yourself up or not you were likely to get back to basics anyway so why such a big punishment fest?

    (Cool that you have the scale! Seems that should be a perk of your job though :))

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  13. I so appreciate your honesty and down-to-earth writing. You remind me of myself: you are very hard on yourself - but the great thing is that you are now owning up to it. As my great WW leader always says, "Get over it, and move on!" You are moving on and never giving up - something we need to do in this endless journey. I am in the middle of Maintenance - and it is another way of thinking now. I want to be under the goal weight so I am not pressured once I reach Lifetime! I want to be like some other members in my meeting that are Lifetime members and come to the meeting every week. It is tough to be accountable - but so worth it! I am 65 pounds lighter - feeling better physically and emotionally. Thank you, David, for your blog, and Weight Watchers for your continued support and encouragement. The journey never ends!

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  14. This post made me Cringe and laugh at the same time. It really reminds me of ME!! I am at a point where I have traded the same 2 lbs up and down for almost 10 weeks and NOBODY can tell me what's going wrong...SO I was just about to stop going....and stop weighing (DANGER WILL ROBINSON !!) and your post reminded why I cannot do that. Thanks.

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  15. Have you been reading my diary? Oh, the self-flagellation! I gave up nicotine 10 weeks ago today, and I have to look at every single bite I put in my mouth and ask, "Is this really hunger? Or am I just feeding my feelings? If all I could have was broccoli would I still be hungry?"
    But what I HAVE done well is religiously write down everything I eat, even when I go way over on points. Because, what's the point in lying to MYSELF? I have gained some weight, about 3 pounds, in the last 10 weeks, but I can tell you exactly what I ate to earn those 3 pounds. And I know exactly what NOT to do next time. Maybe. If it's broccoli. Or if it's not.

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  16. I purposely skipped my meeting last week because I didn't want to face the scale. AND I feel so embarrassed when I gain! Not good!

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  17. Dave, I met you in Pilesville-Pomona in Baltimore, MD. I must say, I have soooo been where you are. And right now I am so there. I don't want to see the scale. It matters not whether I step on the scale or not. I have gained what I have gained. I haven't face the scale in 4 weeks ... mostly running dates, but that should not have stopped me from mid week WIs, right?

    I had to give up my position as a service provider because of personal family reasons and I do miss it, but I was already on the up escalator when I quit.

    Where can I get one of those Tanita scales? I had one I carried to at-works and health fairs but I had to give it back when I quit.

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  18. Bravo for facing your stuff. It is all about the process of being mindful; cutting yourself some slack but paying attention.

    Good job getting back on the scale, now to get back on track with the tracker! By the way how do YOU track?

    JoAnne
    Have a healthy week -- cheers!

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  19. Wow your the ceo and struggling with your weight, wonder why our local team leader who is also struggling a little got fired because of her weight gain. our leader was an inspiration to all of us, she was the BEST leader a real motivator to us, what better leader could there be than one that is in the thick of things with us. WW this is a little Hypocritical!!

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  20. David, thank you SO MUCH for this posting! I do love reading every single one of your blog updates but this particular one could not have come at a better time! I just returned from a fantastic vacation with my husband in New Orleans and I knew I overdid it (how could you not? Come on! It's New Orleans!). My particular self-flagellation is that my mini-goal was to lose 50 lbs. by my 50th Birthday and guess what? I DID IT! I lost exactly 50 lbs. by my 50th on May 13th! My weigh-in was actually the next day since that's my regular meeting day. In any case, it was a very proud moment for me! However, I am dreading my weigh-in on Saturday, June 4th but with this encouragement, I am not dreading it so much anynmore! Even better? My husband has decided to join WW and will be coming with me on Saturday! WE CAN DO THIS!

    As always, thank you for your very candid and personal posts -- it really does help all of us to realize that the "movers and shakers" of Weight Watchers have the same issues as we do! <3

    Claudia Metz
    Boonton, NJ

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  21. THANKS SO MUCH. Sometimes when I hear staff stories, it is me that is bitter. But hearing that even when you are "at the top" you still struggle...that is worth MUCH more than 6 pounds in gold!

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  22. Get back on track and move on. But it is nice to know even WW folks slip up:) Loved the commentary. Thanks

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  23. Thank you for posting this! I'm in denial too, especially when I think "this bite won't hurt"...yeah, that made me gain a pound this week!

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  24. Thanks. Your comments came at a time when I needed them most. I can look forward now instead of back.

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  25. thanks for your honesty. I too gained this week and was beating myself up over it! But I am back to tracking every bite and working on getting back in the swing of things! thanks!

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  26. Thanks for the inspiration! I look forward to your blog postings...always insightful.

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  27. I really needed this. The scale at the doctors office today told me something I really didn't want to know, but I needed to know. Tomorrow I am back on the program, I'm putting together my eating plan right now. Thank you :)

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  28. dont live in delusion- http://islamicweb.com/?folder=bible http://www.witness-pioneer.org/vil/Books/MB_BQS/default.htm

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    If whole mankind denounces idol worship and adultery this will not happen........ http://www.benzinga.com/life/Travel/11/01/804560/could-the-worlds-oldest-volcano-wipe-out-more-than-50-of-the-us

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  30. This is exactly why I go to a meeting every week and weigh in, even though I'm a Lifetime member and have been at or below goal for three years. It is the "not thinking about what you eat" that does me in and the "I guess I'll wait until I get this weight off before I go back to WW." This is my 5th time at goal, I think, and this time I'm stayin' here!

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  31. Thanks so much, David. I unfortunately waited until I had gained back 15 of the 27 pounds I worked so hard to lose! I'm headed back to my WW meeting on Sat mornings as it worked for me (hard to find excuses that early in the day) where Tuesday nights didn't (so easy to find excuses). Good to know I'm not the only person who struggles with travel. You are an inspiration. So, although it was a negative experience in some ways for you, it turned out to be a positive for many of us. You'll be back down those 6 pounds in ~4 weeks! You can do it!

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  32. Thank you for being real and candid.

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  33. Thanks for the post and the encouragement. Just what I needed to read after being 3 lbs over goal and not happy with myself. Back on the great WW plan!

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  34. I fractured my ankle a couple of weeks ago and have not been able to walk my daily mile because of the boot I am wearing. I gained 1 pound last week and was horrified. I have lost 63 pounds since last June and only have 13 more to reach goal. I will weigh in tomorrow night and will be upset if I gain again, but I know that I will get back into my exercise routine soon. Thanks for making me understand that a pound or two gained is no reason to give up.

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  35. Great post for all the reasons specified and so timely for me, personally. I rarely travel and just returned from 10 days of travelling. It gave me full appreciation for how much more difficult it is to stay on the program for people who travel regularly. My hat is off to all of you. I actually did ok on the food but couldn't exercise, which is a huge part of how I manage my weight and mental health. Dave's comments reminded me why I tell people I am a "lifer". This is not a couple week, couple month or even couple of year program; this is a lifetime choice.

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  36. After reaching lifetime in Feb, I began training for a half marathon. My weight crept up, but I told myself it was ok because I needed to be strong for the race. Two weeks after completing the Indy Mini, my weight had crept up to 5 lbs over goal. No more excuses, so I decided to "pretend" I had just joined, started tracking everything on paper (not in my head), and realized exactly why I had gained weight. Two weeks into the "new" program, I have lost 3 lbs. Proof the program works!!

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  37. I love you Dave. Sorry Mrs K.

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  38. This blog came at the perfect time for me. I have been very successful on weight watchers and definitely love to share my success story. I even inspired a start up of an at work group meeting. So I too got a little over confident after maintaining goal for almost a year. I found myself slipping, skipping meetings and weigh ins. I am now 7 pounds over goal. I hit that number on the scale that I won't go past so I too have pulled out my tracker this week and am definitely going to my next meeting. Thank you

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  39. As staff we are required to weigh in monthly and be within 2 lbs. of our goal weight. It keeps us accountable to use the tools that WW gives us.

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  40. What a great post! I am new to WW and was just talking to my daughter this AM about being scared of "maintenance" because I am afraid to back track. I reminded myself not to get to far ahead in my thoughts and just focus on the moment. As our leader said, the hardest part is the first step or in your case the step on the scale. Glad you are back on track! Thanks for sharing...

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  41. Thank you for this, I needed it! It made a difference in my life!

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  42. Well said for anyone male or female - thank you.

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  43. David, I love this, thank you so much.

    Question: As CEO (I'm a leader), who do YOU report to when you're over goal??? Have you written a plan? Did you have to pay? ;)

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  44. I know exactly how you feel...thank you for being so human!

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  45. I've always believed that as a weight watcher, you can always be assured that another weight watcher knows exactly how you feel - whether it's been a good week or a challenging one. You've proven me to be right - you know exactly how I've felt more times than I'd like to admit. Thanks so much!!!

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  46. Yeah yeah, blame it on Qantas. :)

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  47. It takes guts to admit and post challanges. I had to learn at an early "member" age that the scale is my friend, a good friend that tells you like it is. You get mad and the truth hurts hurts, but know the truth is half the battle. Kudos for your cander.

    Paul McDaniel "from 405.8 to 222.8" 183lbs lost. Weight Watchers has saved my life!

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  48. Thanks so much for the candid and insiteful information! This email came at exactly the right moment and was spot on for what I've been experiencing with my weight loss journey. Denial at the scale is so counterproductive to me! I do well for a while and then I slip. Stinks but this is reality. Reading your blog made me decide not to run from the scale but to head out to my meeting today and face it straight on! Thanks!

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  49. Avoiding the scales for several months and only being six pounds above goal is pretty incredible, actually! This is from someone who (admittedly while a good 14 pounds from goal and never having got there) avoided them for six weeks and gained 42 pounds.

    Really good to know that successful men - professionally and WeightWatchers-wise - are just as messed up about these things as the rest of us members.

    And that they react in a similar way to 'ordinary' folks, too.

    Now, go and sit on the naughty step for however many minutes are equal to your age in years, and think hard about your behaviour!

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  50. Thank you David, I need to hear this when it's my third round joining the program. I hope this time will be my last time running away from it.
    Max

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  51. Thank you for this post. I have recently become a Weight Watchers employee and actually have done almost exactly the same thing with avoiding the scale. I found the same to be true, as soon as I do this, bad habits start to come back. It really is comforting to see that everyone, including you, struggle with this, and it is motivating to make me get back to the scale.

    Thanks again.

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  52. Hi. I'm your uncle and I would not recognize the new you.

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