What to do when zombified flesh eating death candy attacks.

To the breach!  Defend yourselves!  Hide the children!  Doom is eminent!

That's right.  It's holiday time.  Today is Halloween, the official commencement of the 60 days of eating bad food until you get sick.  Truth be told, it kind of snuck up on me this year.  There was chatter in the background by the kids talking about their costumes.  Some time last week, I came home from work and found the front yard decorated in a giant mock-spider's web along with a large image of a blood sucking zombie in the living room window.  Yet, my distracted mind was not able to focus on the underlying significance of these trappings and decorations:  it's candy time.

I didn't wake up until today when I took my DSW out to lunch to our favorite neighborhood place.  We grabbed a couple of stools at the bar for a nice meal, and there it was right in front of me:  a bowl of candy on the bar.  It almost looked odd and alien, like a bowl of peanuts that had been strangely transmuted into small chocolate bars.  All the favorites were present:  Reese's (love these), Three Musketeers, Snickers, etc.  It was seductive, yet terrifying and horribly evil all at the same time.

I was about three seconds from pulling my jacket back and doing a quick-draw move on a few of these little guys.  Somehow I was spared the abyss by a last minute thunderbolt of clarity: this is where it all falls apart.  This is where I look at the next two months and casually say:  screw it.  This is where I dive right into a two month calorie binge, telling myself that it will all be better in January (10 pounds later).  The thought of this kind of abysmal collapse bummed me out.  I didn't fall prey to it last year (not too much anyway), and I wasn't going to do it this year.

This Halloween, I'm going to say NO to candy that really doesn't taste nearly as great as it costs in POINTS values.  This Halloween, I'm going to look at candy like the villainous, horrible demon spawn that it is.  I need a flamethrower and a chainsaw!  I'm going to hunt zombie food, kill it all and send it flying back into the vortex of eternal fire!

I admit it.  I loved the old pixilated version of this game.  

OK, I'm being completely over the top, and only about 83% serious.  Yet for my own sake, I have a point. My best strategy when entering treacherous times is to make an overly dramatic statement in an effort to gird my loins.  [For those who enjoy a good idiom, I'm intending this expression in its militaristic form (see Wikipedia):  "The term "gird one's loins" was used in the Roman Era meaning to pull up and tie one's lower garments between one's legs to increase one's mobility in battle. In the modern age, it has become an idiom meaning to prepare oneself for the worst."]   I simply choose not to go into the next two months with a losing attitude.

So what commitments must be made as of today?  Simply stated, I need to choose not to steal from my kids' loot bags that will be hanging around the house for the next two months.  This is the third or fourth time that I have used this blog to proclaim that I will not commit larceny against my sweet, awesome kids.  Sad that I need to use a public podium to not commit theft, but hey, whatever works.

The way I look at it, most of these dwarf bars are about two POINTS values, the same as an apple or a non-fat greek yogurt.  That strikes me as a truly crummy deal.  Particularly in a recession!

This is my strategy, but that doesn't mean it should be your strategy.  My feeling is always this:  know yourself.  In my case, starting with a few small Snickers can lead to a bag full of misery.  Therefore, it's best for me to avoid the whole thing all together.  Many of you have much greater self control around candy than me, so using your WPA to cover a chocolate pop per night might work famously well.

Further, I also know that I'm traveling pretty much every day in November, and there is a Thanksgiving thrown into the mix for good measure.  Right now, I just can't afford the Halloween failure.  That doesn't mean I can't have fun.

Happy Halloween!!!!

Cheers,

dk